Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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