Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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