I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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