Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
