9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
