Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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