Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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