Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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