Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
