Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
