heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
