I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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