my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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