he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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