I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize