we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Come share oat with me in your robe
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
