How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
