Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
