It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
