Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
