I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
