Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
