You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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