i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I need a beard to bite.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
