I look better un-naked...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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