garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
