carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
