I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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