So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
