Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
