I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
