The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
as a side note pls kill me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
