Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
