i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
