College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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