That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
