Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
