The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
