I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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