i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My penis needs a shock collar
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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