Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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