Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Randomize
