onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
