Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
