I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He shit in the fireplace
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