I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize