The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
