Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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