Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
