at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
