yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
