He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Everclear isn't food dammit
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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