Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
