Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
