No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
