but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well I just put wine in my tea
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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