I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
