Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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