I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
