Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
