I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
