I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
