I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
